Have you ever noticed how some mums seem to be very contented in their role as mothers, and others seem chronically stressed? Why is that some mums can keep their sense of humour, while others overreact to the slightest stressors in their day?
We all have bad days, one moment we are feeling on top of the world, other we are crying our eyes out with powerlessness. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it.
There are mums, who just seem to be happy regardless of how many challenges they must face daily. How do they do that? After spending time in their company, you will notice those little things that are making a BIG difference. All happy mums seem to have few things in common.
Let’s dive in and join the club of Happy Mums:
Happy mum doesn’t mean perfect mum
You can be happy, or you can be perfect, you can’t have both…Are you a control freak, perfectionist? Great, but when you have a child your very well organized world turns upside down. Either you accept it and let it go, or you will constantly be sweating over anything, and you will drive yourself crazy …the choice is yours.
Happy mum cherishes the moment
Most people, in general, don’t live in the moment, they either live in the past, or they worry about their future. Why, what for? Mark Twain said:’ I’ve had many worries in my life, most of which never happened”. As a mum, you can witness all the wonderful moments of your baby’s development, cherish those moments as they will pass and never come back. Time flies. Days are long but the years short. Learning how to live in a moment, especially when things get difficult, is a mandatory skill for a new mum. When your baby is not well, you may forget about that trip you planned for a long time.
Happy mum takes care of herself
Being a mum doesn’t let you stop looking after yourself and taking care of yourself. Now it’s even more important as you can’t pour from an empty bucket. Take responsibility for yourself, don’t blame the baby for that extra weight or your bad eating habits. Dress nicely, buy sexy underwear, put a mask on your face, have your hair or nails done. Focus on good nutrition, exercises, rest, positive mindset. Keep doing the things for your body and mind that you enjoyed doing before the baby was born.
Happy mum doesn’t care what others think
When you have your child, you are exposed to be given THE BEST advice from everybody. They know better what is best for your child as you have no experience whatsoever. Whether it is your mum in law who is convinced that what worked for her 30 years ago, will be the best option for you now or a stranger who gives you disapproving glare when you let your child explore the world… it doesn’t matter. You can’t please everybody. Do not give too much attention to the opinions of people who don’t live in your home and don’t spend 24/7 with your baby. Trust your instincts, this is your child after all, and you know best what’s good for him or her.
Happy mum has “something else.”
It may be a hobby like running, dancing, photography or part time home based business. Being able to escape to your world from time to time, having that “ME Time” is not only healthy for you, but it is also healthy for the relationship with your child. Enjoy the things you loved doing before you had a baby, make time for it, you will come back as a better mum, a better partner, and a better person.
Happy mum asks for help
Showing off how much of a superwoman you are as you can do it ALL ON YOUR OWN doesn’t serve you, doesn’t serve your child and doesn’t serve your family. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of courage. There are many people around you that would love to be of help; you just need to ask for it. Give yourself a break and be grateful for the ones around you.
Happy mum does exercise and provide her body with healthy and nutritious food
Again, being a mum doesn’t let you stop looking after yourself. If you don’t take care of your body, you will have nowhere to live. Now you are not only responsible for yourself but this little angel as well. To cope with the ups and downs of motherhood, you need to be in good form physically. Plus carrying your baby around when she/he gets heavier requires you to be strong. Also, when you
Happy mum spends quality time with her partner
Being a mum doesn’t let you stop being a partner/wife. Giving all the attention to the baby and neglecting your partner won’t do any good to your relationship. Taking time during the week to have “quality time” with your spouse is crucial if you want your relationship to grow. During this quality timeshare and discuss your feelings, worries, anxieties, hopes…open your heart to your partner and let him open his to you. You child will be happy if he/she has happy parents.
Happy mum has positive attitude to life
Each moment you have a choice whether you want to blame, complain, moan, criticize, or you want to be responsible for your own happiness. You are the one who creates your life; it’s like a blank canvas, you can paint it in whatever colours you want. Do you wish other people well? Are you happy when people around you succeed? Do you smile often? How do people feel around you? Is it better to be positive or negative? It’s all karma, whatever you give, will come back to you.
Happy mum spends time with her girlfriends
Spending time with your girlfriends doesn’t mean talking about nappies, teething or potty training. Going out with your girlfriends means time off from being a mummy, whether it’s just for a couple of hours, for a night out or a weekend away. Being surrounded by wise women who know you like no one else is a gift. Talking about your feelings (yes, we ladies like to talk about feelings :)) without being judged, asking for advice, singing, dancing or hiking together or just spending time in bed in your pyjamas laughing out loud. Being together, understanding each other, having fun together. It’s unbelievable how much you can recharge your batteries.
Happy mum is grateful
We tend to take many things for granted. There are people out there who can’t see or hear or talk, have no legs, no arms…there are people out there who live on $1 a day, there are people out there who can’t have children…Appreciation for everything you have in your life is essential if you want to feel happy. Life won’t give you more until you are grateful for what you already have. Do this simple exercise – make a list of all the things you are grateful in life and read it daily, it will change your life…guaranteed.
I suggest you read this post, again and again, check out what you can do to implement some of those tips. After all every singe one of us wants to be happy. Our kids want to have happy mummies too.